Emotionless Second trimester

Pregnancy is one of the biggest changes a woman can go through. There’s not one thing you can really expect except for change. This change can be good or bad but for me, this time around I feel like this is an emotionless second trimester. During the first trimester my emotions were everywhere, I didnt know what I wanted, I was happy but then sad and scared. Now fast forward to second trimester I don’t really feel much.

I wake up every day knowing I want to do good, mentally. I know I want to change, I want better, I want my future to be bright not just for my kids but for myself. Yet a lot of it is thought with no drive to do anything. It’s even really taken me a lot of energy to get up and start writing this post. I have so many ideas for post and I have been writing them down because I becoming forgetful, dam mom brain. However I just don’t feel like doing it. I just want to lay down, chill and not think. I do know this is not a good thing but this is a form of depression. When you have no focus, no drive, do desire, it’s hard.

As a woman who keeps going and does what she needs to do a lot of life feels forced at this point. You put a smile on your face because you have to. You show love to your kids, but it’s hard to be affectionate to your partner. I do try tho like giving hugs, putting my arm on him, smiling while looking at him. Just let them see I’m am happy but inside, numb. This is an emotionless second trimester.

I want to be open, and I want people to know that these feelings are real. Ive had these feelings before and sometimes it gets better but sometimes it gets worse. Pay attention is really all you can do. Understand, this is valid and don’t convince yourself you’re crazy, because you’re not. You can probably start antidepressants and they will help. For me during pregnancy I just don’t want to be on meds. So I get up and I just do what I feel to be honest and a lot of times that is nothing. I watch my videos on Facebook and I scroll through instagram which gets me no where.

So today I have decided to get up. I decided to write this post and share with you what has been going on in my head. This isn’t the first time ive felt like this, but this time I want to share it. I haven’t gone to therapy, and I don’t have many people to talk to but now I have you. I hope this helps you open up and feel relieved about what you are going through and know your not a lot. Pregnancy is not easy, life is not easy, we just take one day and one step at a time.